A NIGHT OUT IN THE OLDER PART OF THE OC

I brought Jansen to Diamond Bar this morning because our plan was to go to Hollywood to hook-up with his cuz Aaron. We spent the day snoozing and by the time it was time to go, plans had changed.

Our first stop was to Sugar's Bikini Bar in Anaheim. We were there to see bikinis and the boobies underneath them, but lo and behold, we ran into The Stalkings, an all-girl punk band that attracted a bunch of 50s style female punks and young men who fantasize about them. Jansen said he felt like a groupie and liked the Japanese guitar player while I liked the brunette bass. It was obvious the lead singer was attached given the giant diamond she had on her finger. This is a band that my friend Peter would enjoy watching and drooling over.

We left the bar wondering what happened to the bikinis, but nevertheless satisfied we were out on a Saturday night. Tam is out of town with some of her girlfriends in Vegas, so even though I felt lazy about going out, I felt like we had to do it.

The next stop was The District Lounge in Orange. We'd been here before and I always enjoy going out here. I think I've been here on a Thursday and Friday night, but never on Saturday. The crowd was similar to those nights, but a little more crowded. It's a typical OC crowd - a little more money, a little more white people and a little more stuffiness. Still, it's what I like and what I'm used to.

Jansen spotted a girl in eyeglasses that I would have never imagined was his type. She was a little bookwormish and quite plump, but anytime he gets a little eye contact, he feels good about himself. We stood next to them for a good ten minutes and didn't say a word. As they were leaving, he even imagined her to give him one last look, but it looked like she was just looking for her friend to me. Regardless, he was right when he said that we really were pussies for not even trying to talk to her and her friends. It was ridiculous and I began to seriously wonder if I need a drink before I can talk to females.

My sobriety makes me wonder if I need foreign substances to feel normal. I've been without alcohol, tobacco or drugs for nearly a month now and boy, do I feel bored. I think I have been substituting watching tv, reading or eating to fill the cavern that these substances normally fill. I can't say that I feel like my mind is any more clear. The only difference is that I wake up a little less groggy. But since I wake up so late these days, I don't feel very different.

All in all, it's nice to be sober and feel like I'm cleansing my body which then kind of cleanses my soul (you know, mind/body - same thing). Perhaps this gut feeling I have is part of the cleansing ritual. I feel anxious, kind of nervous, almost like having butterflies in one's stomach. I may be feeling this because I have all this time on my hands and I've wondered what I've done with it. Or maybe I feel like I have things I want to do, but can't seem to do them. Or maybe it's because I don't have a job and am looking for the right one but can't seem to figure that out. Or maybe it's because we have guests coming from the Philippines and I'm dreading having to take care of them. Or maybe it's losing two friends with priviledges and feeling bummed about it.

Maybe I'll find out this Wednesday when I'm out of this sabbatical. Or maybe I wont.