HAPPY FOR NO REASON
Marci Shimoff, author and motivational speaker, interviews a variety of people to explore the state of happiness.
Studies show we have a happiness set-point. It is similar to our weight. We have a certain range that we fluctuate through in our life.
Happiness Set-Point
The range of happiness we return to no matter what happens to us.
50% Genetics
40% Intentional Activities
10% Life Circumstances
Research in neuroplasticity has demonstrated that the brain changes as we change our habits. Therefore, we can change the brain to be more happy. However, to cultivate feelings of happiness, you must exercise the brain consistently. Much like a jogger can't expect that six months of exercise will generate a lifetime of benefits, one can not expect similar results with the brain.
Raising our happiness set-point is based on practicing new habits of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that support a higher level of happiness.
Negativity Bias
The evolutionary wiring of our brain for survival pre-disposes us to look for the negative in our lives.
Amygdala - Hippocampus (think of these two parts as a circuit)
The hippocampus registers the context of experiences like the slither in the grass that might indicate danger. The amygdala is kind of like the alarm bell ready to ring. The hippocampus keeps the amygdala in check, but chronic stress sensitizes the amygdala and weakens and eats away at the hippocampus. Clearly, our brain can change because of how we react to events.
Step 1: Take responsibility for our own happiness
Empower yourself rather than feeling like a victim. Blame is the expression that you are not responsible for your personal well-being. Blame activates the sympathetic nervous system which causes decay in the body. It also causes mental habits which are linked to our emotional experiences. Blame causes anger, anger causes other changes, causes our focus to narrow. When our focus narrows, we are in a position of fear and helplessness. We can't always control what happens in our lives, so changing our perspective of an event can help change our happiness set-point.
Paraympathetic Nervous System: Calm
Sympathetic Nervous System: Stressed
When you're feeling love, appreciation or gratitude, your heart rhythm will be coherent - smooth and even.
When you're feeling angry, frustrated, or upset, your heart rhythm will be incoherent - erratic.
Our bodies are actually designed to support our happiness. Our immune system reflects our state of being. A robust immune system releases feel good chemicals while a weak one will release bad ones. Simple ways to strengthen and stimulate the para-sympathetic wing of the autonomic nervous system. You can focus on exhaling or just relaxing which activates the para-sympathetic wing.
I'll Be Happy When . . .
Many people get stuck in this myth thus living a life of deferred happiness. We overestimate the happiness we think we'll have by getting the things we want.
The Myth of More
More money does very little to increase our happiness when the basics of food, clothing and shelter are met.
Step 2: Practice forgiveness
Forgiving allows you to heal from a hurt. If you continue being angry, the neuro circuits will begin to get used to this. You can continue to be a loving person even if painful things have happened to you in the past.
Step 3: Focus on gratitude
Another way to heighten your happiness set-point is to focus on things you can be grateful for rather than the negative things in your life. Interestingly, positive emotions seem to act like Teflon while negative experiences tend to stick.
Step 4: Don't believe everything that you think
People with OCD who had brain lesions were shown these brain scans and told that whenever they had an episode, they should think of the scans and realize it's just brain activity. Over time, the lesions went away. You can acknowledge dark thoughts, but allow them to go away. What will be left is the lightness of being.
Step 5: Practice meditation and mindfulness
Living in the moment and being mindful leads to less judgment. It also allows you to be more engaged and therefore be more happy. In a dolphin study, some trainers were mindful while another were mindless. The dolphins swam faster and stayed longer with the mindful trainers. Mindfulness is attractive.
Engaging compassion meditation engages the insula which is a part of the brain that is the point of mind/body connection. Practitioners show measurable changes in the brain and levels of happpiness.
Step 6: Live a life inspired by purpose
Your intent to do what is meaningful leads to amazing results. Your mission in life is where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. When you find it, it will resonate with the core meaning of your life. A teen study showed that those who gave time to serve others were healthier and happier 60 years later.
Step 7: Cultivate nourishing relationships
Tribes in Africa who live in remote areas show a level of happiness similar to people in the Forbes 1000. It's not about money, it's about family social connections. It's the only way people survived in the past. Emotional or social contagion is the transmitting of an idea or an emotion from one individual to another. Healthy connections release healthy chemicals while the opposite is also true. It's been said we become the average of the five people we associate with the most. How nourishing are they?
Rather than pursuing happiness, practice happiness. People believe that they have to be successful to be happy, but it's also true that being happy also leads to being successful.
Marci Shimoff, author and motivational speaker, interviews a variety of people to explore the state of happiness.
Studies show we have a happiness set-point. It is similar to our weight. We have a certain range that we fluctuate through in our life.
Happiness Set-Point
The range of happiness we return to no matter what happens to us.
50% Genetics
40% Intentional Activities
10% Life Circumstances
Research in neuroplasticity has demonstrated that the brain changes as we change our habits. Therefore, we can change the brain to be more happy. However, to cultivate feelings of happiness, you must exercise the brain consistently. Much like a jogger can't expect that six months of exercise will generate a lifetime of benefits, one can not expect similar results with the brain.
Raising our happiness set-point is based on practicing new habits of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that support a higher level of happiness.
Negativity Bias
The evolutionary wiring of our brain for survival pre-disposes us to look for the negative in our lives.
Amygdala - Hippocampus (think of these two parts as a circuit)
The hippocampus registers the context of experiences like the slither in the grass that might indicate danger. The amygdala is kind of like the alarm bell ready to ring. The hippocampus keeps the amygdala in check, but chronic stress sensitizes the amygdala and weakens and eats away at the hippocampus. Clearly, our brain can change because of how we react to events.
Step 1: Take responsibility for our own happiness
Empower yourself rather than feeling like a victim. Blame is the expression that you are not responsible for your personal well-being. Blame activates the sympathetic nervous system which causes decay in the body. It also causes mental habits which are linked to our emotional experiences. Blame causes anger, anger causes other changes, causes our focus to narrow. When our focus narrows, we are in a position of fear and helplessness. We can't always control what happens in our lives, so changing our perspective of an event can help change our happiness set-point.
Paraympathetic Nervous System: Calm
Sympathetic Nervous System: Stressed
When you're feeling love, appreciation or gratitude, your heart rhythm will be coherent - smooth and even.
When you're feeling angry, frustrated, or upset, your heart rhythm will be incoherent - erratic.
Our bodies are actually designed to support our happiness. Our immune system reflects our state of being. A robust immune system releases feel good chemicals while a weak one will release bad ones. Simple ways to strengthen and stimulate the para-sympathetic wing of the autonomic nervous system. You can focus on exhaling or just relaxing which activates the para-sympathetic wing.
I'll Be Happy When . . .
Many people get stuck in this myth thus living a life of deferred happiness. We overestimate the happiness we think we'll have by getting the things we want.
The Myth of More
More money does very little to increase our happiness when the basics of food, clothing and shelter are met.
Step 2: Practice forgiveness
Forgiving allows you to heal from a hurt. If you continue being angry, the neuro circuits will begin to get used to this. You can continue to be a loving person even if painful things have happened to you in the past.
Step 3: Focus on gratitude
Another way to heighten your happiness set-point is to focus on things you can be grateful for rather than the negative things in your life. Interestingly, positive emotions seem to act like Teflon while negative experiences tend to stick.
Step 4: Don't believe everything that you think
People with OCD who had brain lesions were shown these brain scans and told that whenever they had an episode, they should think of the scans and realize it's just brain activity. Over time, the lesions went away. You can acknowledge dark thoughts, but allow them to go away. What will be left is the lightness of being.
Step 5: Practice meditation and mindfulness
Living in the moment and being mindful leads to less judgment. It also allows you to be more engaged and therefore be more happy. In a dolphin study, some trainers were mindful while another were mindless. The dolphins swam faster and stayed longer with the mindful trainers. Mindfulness is attractive.
Engaging compassion meditation engages the insula which is a part of the brain that is the point of mind/body connection. Practitioners show measurable changes in the brain and levels of happpiness.
Step 6: Live a life inspired by purpose
Your intent to do what is meaningful leads to amazing results. Your mission in life is where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. When you find it, it will resonate with the core meaning of your life. A teen study showed that those who gave time to serve others were healthier and happier 60 years later.
Step 7: Cultivate nourishing relationships
Tribes in Africa who live in remote areas show a level of happiness similar to people in the Forbes 1000. It's not about money, it's about family social connections. It's the only way people survived in the past. Emotional or social contagion is the transmitting of an idea or an emotion from one individual to another. Healthy connections release healthy chemicals while the opposite is also true. It's been said we become the average of the five people we associate with the most. How nourishing are they?
Rather than pursuing happiness, practice happiness. People believe that they have to be successful to be happy, but it's also true that being happy also leads to being successful.
posted by Tito Eddy at 2:05 PM
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