DAVID OGILVY

In "Confessions of an Advertising Man" (1963), Ogilvy outlines what kind of behavior he admires.

(1) I admire people who work hard, who bite the bullet. I dislike passengers who don't pull their weight in the boat. It is more fun to be overworked than to be underworked. There is an economic factor built into hard work. The harder you work, the fewer employees we need, and the more profit we make. The more profit we make, the more money becomes available for all of us.

(2) I admire people with first-class brains, because you cannot run a great advertising agency without brainy people. But brains are not enough unless they are combined with intellectual honesty.

(3) I have an inviolable rule against employing nepots and spouses, because they breed politics. Whenever two of our people get married, one of them must depart - preferably the female, to look after her baby.

(4) I admire people who work with gusto. If you don't enjoy what you are doing, I beg you to find another job. Remember the Scottish proverb, "Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead."

(5) I despise toadies who suck up to their bosses; they are generally the same people who bully their subordinates.

(6) I admire self-confident professionals, the craftsmen who do their jobs with superlative excellence. They always seem to respect the expertise of their colleagues. They don't poach.

(7) I admire people who hire subordinates who are good enough to succeed them. I pity people who are so insecure that they feel compelled to hire inferiors as their subordinates.

(8) I admire people who build up their subordinates, because this is the only way we can promote from within the ranks. I detest having to go outside to fill important jobs, and I look forward to the day when that will never be necessary.

(9) I admire people with gentle manners who treat other people as human beings. I abhor quarrelsome people. I abhor people who wage paper-warfare. The best way to keep the peace is to be candid. Remember Blake:

I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe;
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

(10) I admire well-organized people who deliver their work on time. The Duke of Wellington never went home until he had finished all work on his desk.

ANCIENT EGYPTIAN AIRCRAFT?

Actually, all you have to do is read this and you'll see there's an explanation for it.

CORE ATTRIBUTES

Here are Dean Graziosi's Core Attributes of "Totally Fulfilled" people from his book by the same name:

#1. Totally Fulfilled people are positive, optimistic people who create their own reality and don't let their past, other people's negative views of them, or life's challenges defeat them. They surround themselves with other positive people and condition themselves for success.

• Reality is really what you perceive it to be.
• No one can have power over you unless you let them.
• Chances are, others conditioned you for mediocrity.
• Your path to success is only blocked by the Limiting Beliefs you and others have placed there.
• Your Limitless Beliefs allow you to access all the power of your "Core" to overcome those Limiting Road Blocks.
• To become Totally Fulfilled, transform your Limiting Beliefs into Limitless Beliefs.
• You are what you believe. You can do what you believe.

#2. Totally fulfilled people are open minded and willing to consider that there are always multiple solutions to any problem.

• Totally Fulfilled people are open minded and welcome challenges to accepted ways of thinking and doing.
• When you open your mind, the universe responds with other solutions to your problems.
• Limiting Beliefs prevent most people from being open-minded.
• Practice doesn't make perfect, it makes Permanent.
• Money is not the root of all evil - know your reasons for wanting to attract it into your life.
• The past doesn't determine the future.
• Being Totally Fulfilled is a journey, not a destination.

#3. Totally Fulfilled people are passionate and committted. Like my great grandfather and grandmother, they have passionate dreams of a better life for themselves and others. They are willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that others are cared for. They don't view this as a sacrifice but an honor.

• Totally fulfilled people are generous - not always financially but with their time, experience, and talents.
• Your beliefs won't change on their own.
• You must take control of your beliefs.
• Generously give yourself the gift of limitless beliefs.

#4. Totally fulfilled people are Grateful. They choose to focus on what they have and not what they lack. They understand that many people contribute to the successes they enjoy - family, friends, and colleagues - and they express their gratitude often and openly.

• You choose how to respond to other people and the attitude you will have.
• Gratitude can transform your outlook and your life.
• Daily practice of expressing gratitude for all you have will make a permanent change.
• You don't have to get it perfect right away, you just have to keep practicing it.
• Change takes time and persistence.
• Your past doesn't not (sic) determine your future.
• By transforming Limiting Beliefs to Limitless Beliefs, you tap your potential to achieve anything you desire.

#5. Totally Fulfilled People have rich imagination and are able to visualize their future and then take the appropriate steps to achieve their goal.

• Our imagination is a powerful tool for creating a new reality for ourselves.
• Many of us have lost our child-like ability to pretend.
• Visualizing your future is a way to re-fire our imagination.
• All of the greatest innovations in our life-time started as a thought.
• Making our desires and goals known can help us attain them.
• Totally Fulfilled people have powerful imaginations, can visualize their new reality, and take the action steps needed to make their thoughts real.

#6. Totally fulfilled people are responsible. They don't make excuses, they make things happen and don't let things happen.

• We all have to face obstacles on our journey to success.
• Totally Fulfilled people always manage to find a way around, over, or through the brick walls we encounter.
• You must take full responsibility for your life - excuses are not allowed.
• Failure is not something to fear but to learn from.
• Lack of time is not an excuse.
• Lack of money is not an excuse.

#7. Totally Fulfilled people are productive and focused. They are able to accurately assess what's important to them and to achieving their goals.

• We all have the same amount of time in any given day.
• We choose how we spend that time.
• It is important to assess accurately what matters most and spend our time accordingly.
• Focusing on your priorities eliminates the feeling of being overwhelmed.
• Totally Fulfilled people are productive.

#8. Totally Fulfilled people are money-wise. They value money for the freedom it brings them, they invest wisely, enjoy what they have, and let their money work for them so they can alleviate the stress from lack of money in their current life and leave behind a legacy.

• It takes effort to make money.
• Desire will help you find a way.
• Understand and use the power of compound interest to make your money work for you.
• Seek ways to take advantage of passive (multiple earning) income and not rely on linear (one time earning) income.
• Take advantage of the power of many to spread expenses and increase profits.
• Turn your passions, interests, and knowledge into profit centers.
• Make money in the middle by bringing buyers and sellers together.
• Take your current job to the next level to earn a raise in pay.
• Totally Fulfilled people use money wisely and to their advantage.

• Take immediate action.
• Focus on the end result.
• Eliminate negativity.

#9. Totally Fulfilled people are flexible - they understand that some changes are inevitable, some they can see on the horizon and prepare for, and others will surprise them. No matter the kind of change, they adapt and grow and not retreat and wither.

• Change is part of the natural order of life.
• Anticipate that there will be unexpected changes.
• Push yourself to make changes you know are necessary.
• Some people would rather experience the pain of the familiar than face the unknown.
• You can change at any time and at any age.
• Change does not equal loss - it can lead you to better things.
• Totally Fulfilled people are flexible and they welcome and anticipate change as an important part of life.

#10. Totally Fulfilled people actively take control of their lives and the changes that are a natural part of living. They don't simply passively respond to change.

• Some people are like thermometers - they passively reflect what is going on in their lives.
• Some people are like thermostats - they actively control what is going on in their lives.
• Be a thermostat - take control of change and alter its meaning in your life from something to fear to something to welcome.
• Change can mean something better for your family and you or it will provide a valuable lesson to learn from.
• Totally Fulfilled people are active controllers of their life and make changes and not just respond to them.

• Unexpected change will come your way.
• Focus on outcomes and solutions and not on why something happened to you.
• Embrace the new direction your life has taken and use your energy to steer the best course forward.
• Envision the best after change scenario to help you focus and direct your efforts.
• Totally Fulfilled people anticipate that unexpected change will happen and remain flexible.

• Understanding the power of associations is a key to dealing with change in your life.
• Your associations are your thoughts.
• You have to change your thoughts to change your actions.
• Changing your actions will change your life.
• Change your associations to change your life.

• Conscioiusly choose to make a change and take action immediately.
• Don't just dream - do.
• Even the smallest of steps everday in a new direction will give you the monmentum you need.
• Schedule change and take action to make it happen.

• Good relationships with friends, lovers, colleagues, and family members are an important part of a balanced and fulfilling life.
• Good relatioinships depend upon honest communication.
• Knowing yourself, your needs, your strengths, and your weaknesses is the place to start building your relationships.
• It is important to present your true self from the very start of any relationship.
• Build upon an honest foundation of who you truly are.

• Totally Fulfilled people surround themselves with supportive people - lovers, family, friends, and colleagues.
• Assigning blame in a failed relationship prevents you from learning the lessons of the painful experience.
• Don't ask who is to blame but how did it happen and what can I do to avoid repeating those same mistakes.
• Lack of communication causes frustration.

• Being generous doesn't always mean giving people money or gifts.
• Even the smallest kind gesture can have a ripple effect in the world.
• Even if one person takes advantage of your generous nature, don't stop giving.
• Giving your trust to others will always pay dividends in the long run.
• To develop successful relationships, you need to find out what other people's Magic Buttons are - what they are passionate about, what motivates, excites them, etc.
• If you have trouble with getting to know people, you can always rely on F.O.R.M.: From, Occupation, Recreation, Money.
• Sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone is the benefit of the doubt.

• Surround yourself with positive people who respect your ideas.
• Go with your gut - don't let other people's opinions derail your plans.
• Define and play by the rules of your own life.
• Stay true to your dreams.
• Your true effort is always rewarding: take a positive lesson from every attempt, even if you don't succeed.

• Your self-respect is more valuable than money.
• Be a person of your word and others will respect you.
• Do the right thing because it is the right thing to do.
• You will be rewarded in the long run for being a person of your word.

• For most people traditional goal setting doesn't work.
• Jumping in with both feet before doing some planning can work - sometimes.
• The first step in achieving is knowing the reason why you have that desire.
• You don't always have to be right; you just have to be right once at the right time and place.

• List your inner reasons that will drive you to make your ambitions and goals become realities.
• Saying "I want more" or "I deserve more" will not get you more - except more disappointment or frustration.
• Understand the reasons why you have the goals and desires you have.
• List the motivations that drive you to succeed.
• Think about the other people who matter in your life and who depend upon your success.
• When your personal purpose and your motivations unite, you can accomplish anything.

• No matter what you've experienced in the past, you still have value.
• No matter what people have told you about yourself in the past, you still have value.
• No matter what mistakes you've made in the past, you still have value.
• You are a valuable opportunity waiting to take a chance on.
• What you did in the past, felt about yourself in the past, and feared in the past, is exactly that - in the past.
• Forgive Yourself.

• Develop goals with reason.
• Let go of your past if it doest not serve you.
• Become a doer.
• Be grateful.
• Forgive yourself and others.
• Write a list of the things you love to do and the person you love to be.
• Write a list of ALL the goals you want to achieve.
• Rub the Genie's lamp and pick your top nine goals and write the reasons why you must achieve them.
• To assist you in the process, I invite you to go www.totallyfulfilled.com to get your FREE tools to help guide you and keep you on track.

• People will always be more impressed with the height of your enthusiasm than the depth of your knowledge.
• Being stretched outside your comfort zone can be uncomfortable.
• You have a choice to make between striving for lasting change or staying the same.
• Now that you've been shown a better way, you can model your life after those who are Totally Fulfilled.

• Once you have the right core, everything else you want to do becomes possible.
• You can't be taught to be successful through theory; you have to have real world/practical experiences of doing and trying.
• Knowledge + Action = Results

URINATION FASTER-MATION©

From "Feel This Book" by Ben Stiller and Janeane Garofalo. There's lots of things I will do when I have my own place. One of them is to blow this up and post it right above my toilet.

As I release my urinary fluids into this bowl
So do I release all thoughts of wanting, need, or envy
As my liquid waste flows out of my system,
So does my anger, hate, and pain flow out into the universe.
Flush! Flush! Flush away all bad things! (to be said while flushing)
As I release my pee
I am Free! (Repeat three times.)

Addendum for Men Living with Women:
As I lift the seat
So do I lift my light to the universe
And as I close it when I am finished
So do I assure myself Of not having the anger of the universe-
Or my spouse-
Rain down upon me.

JAIME PRESSLY

I went to the Irvine Hyatt's pool party known as Splash last Wednesday. I think it is similar to Hard Rock Vegas' Rehab. There's an automatic filter at these types of parties: you will not see fat chicks going to these parties because you can not hide anything. So of course, not only are the chicks hot, but the men are all huge and buff.

Jaime Pressly stopped by and we took pictures with her. Here's our conversation:

Me: Hey Jaime, can I take a picture with you?
Jaime: {looks unsure and hesitant}
Me: It'll take just a second. Yo Ray, can you take a picture? {Ray prepares camera} So Jaime, you workin' on any projects right now?
Jaime: {almost incredulous look}
Me: {almost apologetic look}
Jaime: My show!
Me: {almost confused look}
Jaime: My Name is Earl?
Me: Ohh, I've heard of that. {Ray then takes the picture}

HISPANICS

Let me tell you what happened when my friend Rich (from Las Vegas) came to Irvine for some training at a mechanic school. He had to do the same thing last year and it's always fun to see old friends. We make it a point to see each other. After all, there aren't many other things as important as friendship.

We decided it was time to go out, so the first stop is usually the bank. I don't know if you know Santa Ana, but it's a city in Orange County that's primarily Hispanic. We go to a B of A and there's a line that's about 10 people long. I don't think any of them could speak English. Or if they did, it was very little. So I ask, "excuse me, but is this normally how crowded it is?" "I don't know," she says, "this is my first time here," and turns around to look at the line.

Not only was the line long, but the person on the ATM is taking a really long time. I mean, at least ten minutes. Now, what takes ten minutes to do at the ATM? Do you really need to transfer money from one account to another? Do you really need to withdraw? Okay, what if you had to deposit money? How long does that take? It doesn't take ten minutes!! There's no chat room at the ATM! There aren't that many options! So I wondered, what the hell is going on here?

So I go across the street to get something to eat. I am not waiting in line for hours just to get to my $20 bill. So I ask the lady in front of me, "Is that place any good? Have you ever eaten there?" She says, "I don't know, this is my first time." Oh yeah, I forgot. So I walk across the street to buy some taquitos. I was thinking about the tacos, but decided I'd go with the taquitos. I chose item #2: taquitos con guacamole. Now, I don't know that much Spanish, but I know what guacamole is. It's that green stuff that comes from avocados right? Right?

But when I get my food, I see three taquitos covered with lettuce, tomatos and sour cream. Nowhere is there the color of guacamole. I look over to my left and see the beans and rice, but the color green is missing. There is no fuckin' guacamole. I look at the board again and it says, "taquitos con guacamole." But I don't speak Spanish and I'm not about to complain that there is no guacamole on my taquitos.

So I start eating them. I ask for some hot sauce which they had a lot of. I love hot sauce. Then, a car stalled across the street from the restaurant. People got out to try to push it, but it wasn't moving. Then, the hood was popped and smoke began to billow out of it. It was black and it left a smokey, dusty smell. Then it caught on fire. When it caught on fire, three police cars drove right by, looked at the car, and continued driving. Three of them. None of them stopped. Finally, someone got a fire extinguisher and used it on the flames. They were estinguished and replaced with a white, dense smoke. All I was thinking of was, I don't want smoke on my taquitos.

But I did call 911. And they asked me, is it a car fire? I said, yes. And they said, okay, we've got that call already. A fire truck is on its way. Ten minutes later, we left. We had things to do. But there was no sight or sound of the truck. In fact, a block away, no one would have known what we saw that evening.