URINATION FASTER-MATION©

From "Feel This Book" by Ben Stiller and Janeane Garofalo. There's lots of things I will do when I have my own place. One of them is to blow this up and post it right above my toilet.

As I release my urinary fluids into this bowl
So do I release all thoughts of wanting, need, or envy
As my liquid waste flows out of my system,
So does my anger, hate, and pain flow out into the universe.
Flush! Flush! Flush away all bad things! (to be said while flushing)
As I release my pee
I am Free! (Repeat three times.)

Addendum for Men Living with Women:
As I lift the seat
So do I lift my light to the universe
And as I close it when I am finished
So do I assure myself Of not having the anger of the universe-
Or my spouse-
Rain down upon me.