THE MUMMY MADE ME SCREAM LIKE A BITCH
I took Stephanie to Universal Studios, Hollywood today. I keep wondering how a 23 year old girl who grew up in Southern California has never been to Six Flags Magic Mountain, Universal Studios, seen the Hollywood Walk of Fame or know what her astrological sign is. Then, when she revealed she was a Mormon, I began to wonder if that was the reason. Are Mormons really that strict? What is wrong with going to see the Walk of Fame or Universal Studios?
Universal Studios has such few attractions, it almost doesn't make sense to purchase the year-long pass. However, they have priced it so well, it almost doesn't make sense not to purchase a year-round pass. For $55, you can go the entire year with some blockout dates. Regular admission is about $20 less than the regular price so you just need to go twice to make it worth it. So I purchased the year round pass and gave it to Stephanie for Christmas.
The newest and probably best ride at Universal is the Revenge of the Mummy. It was my first time riding it and I didn't know what to expect. It was an indoor ride so I figured it would be similar to Disneyland's Indiana Jones. In fact, the setting was pretty much the same since it was supposed to be a mummy's tomb. But little did I realize that it was a high-speed roller coaster and that it would take my picture while I screamed like a little girl. The damn ride actually scared me!
We had an appetizer at Tony Roma's (Stephanie drank water) and watched the Cal vs. BYU game there. We finally got to talk about more serious things when she revealed that she was nearly married and had been with the same guy for four and a half years. "I know drinking is illegal," I said jokingly, "but is pre-marital sex also illegal." She smiled and said that they had chosen to keep that part of themselves until they got married.
Anytime a woman basically tells you she's a virgin, all kinds of weird thoughts creep into your head. First, you get a little excited because you have a chance to pop someone's cherry. No one ever forgets their first time and I haven't had a virgin since I was a virgin. Looking back, I realize that virgin sex sucks, but I now have enough experience to make it unforgettable to the fourth power. That's the little devil talking.
Then the little angel starts to say things. You begin to question whether it's worth it and whether it's moral. Could I deal with all the drama that surrounds having sex with a virgin? Imagine all the questions and all the emotions that would be tied up into this little monster you could create. Hell, she might even turn into a sex fiend! You never know. On top of that, she's a Mormon! Who knows what this monster could turn into! Then you start to wonder if it's even moral. Making love to a Mormon virgin could send you straight to hell. Then again, that's what the Catholic priests sort of instill in you in Sunday school. Heck, I may already be going to hell so what difference would it make?
What would her family think? Would she even say anything? Would she live with the guilt? Would she tell her future husband? Would I be her future husband? Would I be required to be her future husband? Would the Mormon mob go after me? Could I become a polygamist? Could I be a polygamist with her sisters? Would I need to become a Mormon? Would my Catholic faith shun me? Would I be viewed as a pimp or as an asshole?
Those are just a few of the questions that swirl around my head. In the end, I will let Fate answer these questions for me.
I took Stephanie to Universal Studios, Hollywood today. I keep wondering how a 23 year old girl who grew up in Southern California has never been to Six Flags Magic Mountain, Universal Studios, seen the Hollywood Walk of Fame or know what her astrological sign is. Then, when she revealed she was a Mormon, I began to wonder if that was the reason. Are Mormons really that strict? What is wrong with going to see the Walk of Fame or Universal Studios?
Universal Studios has such few attractions, it almost doesn't make sense to purchase the year-long pass. However, they have priced it so well, it almost doesn't make sense not to purchase a year-round pass. For $55, you can go the entire year with some blockout dates. Regular admission is about $20 less than the regular price so you just need to go twice to make it worth it. So I purchased the year round pass and gave it to Stephanie for Christmas.
The newest and probably best ride at Universal is the Revenge of the Mummy. It was my first time riding it and I didn't know what to expect. It was an indoor ride so I figured it would be similar to Disneyland's Indiana Jones. In fact, the setting was pretty much the same since it was supposed to be a mummy's tomb. But little did I realize that it was a high-speed roller coaster and that it would take my picture while I screamed like a little girl. The damn ride actually scared me!
We had an appetizer at Tony Roma's (Stephanie drank water) and watched the Cal vs. BYU game there. We finally got to talk about more serious things when she revealed that she was nearly married and had been with the same guy for four and a half years. "I know drinking is illegal," I said jokingly, "but is pre-marital sex also illegal." She smiled and said that they had chosen to keep that part of themselves until they got married.
Anytime a woman basically tells you she's a virgin, all kinds of weird thoughts creep into your head. First, you get a little excited because you have a chance to pop someone's cherry. No one ever forgets their first time and I haven't had a virgin since I was a virgin. Looking back, I realize that virgin sex sucks, but I now have enough experience to make it unforgettable to the fourth power. That's the little devil talking.
Then the little angel starts to say things. You begin to question whether it's worth it and whether it's moral. Could I deal with all the drama that surrounds having sex with a virgin? Imagine all the questions and all the emotions that would be tied up into this little monster you could create. Hell, she might even turn into a sex fiend! You never know. On top of that, she's a Mormon! Who knows what this monster could turn into! Then you start to wonder if it's even moral. Making love to a Mormon virgin could send you straight to hell. Then again, that's what the Catholic priests sort of instill in you in Sunday school. Heck, I may already be going to hell so what difference would it make?
What would her family think? Would she even say anything? Would she live with the guilt? Would she tell her future husband? Would I be her future husband? Would I be required to be her future husband? Would the Mormon mob go after me? Could I become a polygamist? Could I be a polygamist with her sisters? Would I need to become a Mormon? Would my Catholic faith shun me? Would I be viewed as a pimp or as an asshole?
Those are just a few of the questions that swirl around my head. In the end, I will let Fate answer these questions for me.
posted by Tito Eddy at 11:40 PM
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