Friday, October 21, 2005

THE ALOHA BAR

Even after a nice pick-me-up, poor Rich is on the floor with his eyes firmly closed. The mind is willing, but the body is too weak. He just doesn't have enough energy to continue. I don't blame him. If I had to work tomorrow, I wouldn't go either. Rich apologizes and I tell him not to worry about it. I know how he feels and if it weren't for yay, I wouldn't be going either.

Lynie calls to find out where I am. I tell her I am on my way and that poor Richie is stuck at home, too tired to go. Lynie says that Brenda has a new admirer and that it is imperative I go meet them there. I am supposed to be Brenda's boyfriend so they can slip away from the admirer.

I always laugh at these situations because I will never understand why women can not simply tell others to leave them alone. Maybe it's much more complicated than just doing that. They probably don't want to be mean or they are afraid of retaliation. But if someone is bothering you that much, shouldn't you have the heart to tell them off? Instead, they go with the easier route and say, "my boyfriend is coming."

I decide that I will go ahead and play the part of the boyfriend, but my services will not come cheap. These girls will have to pay a little for having put me in this situation. I hate lying and even though this could be considered a white lie, I still don't like doing it.

When I arrive, I smile and give Brenda a quick hug and tell her, "hi baby". She gives me the not-so-believable "hi honey". What a joke. There's no way this guy is gonna believe this charade. Brenda's admirer is Victor, a large-set, slightly balding Hispanic with a great voice. He's obviously drunk and dedicates every karaoke song to Brenda. She introduces me and I feel the tension just from the look he has. "This is your boyfriend? You are a very lucky man my friend. You are very handsome. She is very beautiful."

I smile and introduce myself. I feel bad knowing Victor is probably one of those guys who has never experienced getting that girl he so much desires. Maybe it's pity, but he doesn't deserve to be punished for having a little karaoke fantasy. He's obviously much too old for Brenda, but why couldn't she just say thank you, but no thank you?

Anyway, I put my arms around Brenda and hold her hand which is a little sweaty. Is she nervous from trying to get away from Victor, or have I made her uncomfortable pretending to be her boyfriend? I don't really care, like I said, I gotta make these girls pay. I give Brenda some sweet-nothing kisses on her neck and she cringes away giggling. I can't tell if she likes this, but I decide to continue.

Lynie is on the other side of Brenda so she can't really do anything to stop me. How perfect can this get? I take Brenda's hand and put it on my lap. Lynie notices this and Brenda quickly pulls it away. I act surprised as if she did it, but she immediately explains that it was I. Lynie smiles mischievously, probably understanding that I'm doing this on purpose.

I buy some drinks and see Victor at the bar. He's still drunk and continues to congratulate me. Why do men congratulate other men for having such a beautiful girlfriend? Wouldn't that be like congratulating someone for the Rolex they just purchased? Women should not just be posessions, but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel good when someone congratulates you. The funny thing is, Brenda isn't even my girlfriend but I still know the feeling.

I buy Victor a drink because the poor guy deserves one. I don't want to feel sorry for the fella, but I kind of do. He's the kind of guy that wouldn't be so bad if he had some style and he didn't try so hard. There's a delicate balance between pursuing someone and hounding someone. But more importantly, you need to know when to stop. Victor seems to know all this, but he's passed the point of caring.

I get back to Lynie and Brenda. I put my arm around Brenda again and even though it's just pretend, it actually feels good. I feel comfortable around her and she has an almost innocent and playful spirit that is so down-to-earth. We continue to drink and there's hardly anyone left in the bar.

The girls tell me I should sing a song, but I really don't know any. I tell Brenda that she has to sing me a song and that while she is singing it to me, she must look lovingly into my eyes. She's game and I choose Olivia Newton-John's "Hopelessly Devoted to You". The song begins and make sure Brenda looks into my eyes by doing an impression of De Niro in "Meet the Parents".

The Aloha Bar gets ready to close and Brenda gets a call from Angel. She needs to meet her somewhere so I walk Brenda out to her car. I ask her what she's doing tomorrow and she says she has laundry. I tell her to call me so we can hang-out. I give her a hug goodbye and make my way back inside.

Lynie is sitting next to Victor and they both look at me like they want to say something. Victor looks at Lynie and asks her, "Is it okay to tell him? He won't get mad? Are you sure?" Lynie smiles slightly and says, "Go ahead, tell him." Victor needs to verify this again so Lynie repeats, "Tell him".

Victor says, "I know you have a girlfriend, but when I look at Lynie, she looks like she is in love with you. I know what love looks like and that's what I see. I can tell." I try to look shocked as if it were the first time I am hearing this. I am reminded of this same look I saw long ago from a woman I knew at a different time and place. I smile, tell Lynie I'm flattered, but that I already have a girlfriend who is also her friend.

"What can we do about this?" I say, "Brenda is my girlfriend who is also your friend. How long have you felt this way?" Lynie smiles and tells me to finish my drink. We say farewell to Victor and we walk to Lynie's car. We smile at each other and she hits me playfully.

"What do we do now?" I ask her. "I don't know" she says. Does she want to go to her place? No. Does she want to get more drinks? Not really. Well, then I guess we should go to Rich's place. She agrees since she needs to drop me off anyway.

Lynie drives me back to Rich's place. As we walk inside, Rich's red-nosed pit Sage barks and jumps on her. I tell her that she's harmless and just bored out of her mind from being stuck inside all day. Sage is an attention whore. Anyone who even thinks about petting her will get at least 20 minutes of undivided attention. I tell Sage to get off Lynie and sit down on her little couch. Lynie says I'm jealous but I'm not. I just want to make sure I say my proper goodbye before she leaves for Hawaii.

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