JOURNEYMAN #2

After Thanksgiving, I feet fatter than usual and I think my clothes can attest to that. I've gotta start running more!

I left about 4:45 am and halfway to downtown LA, I was a little worried that I might be late to set. But I got there with plenty of time to spare.

One thing I noticed as we drove in the standard issue white, production van was that there were a lot of these Joe's Auto Parks all over LA. Is this an investment possibility? Who owns all of these lots? Is it really Joe's?

After picking up my voucher, I got in line for wardrobe and realized that it was the gay, European asshole that was doing wardrobe. As the line got longer and longer, I was glad to be near the front. My prayers were answered when the female wardrobe lady asked who was next. She gave me a 2nd outfit to wear and that was that.

I decided I would try the breakfast burrito for lunch instead of the usual egg white omelet I ask for. Breakfast burritos aren't bad, but there's something about eating flour tortillas that I find odd. Maybe it's because it's dry? But I don't have anything against toast - as long as it's buttered or has jam on it.

The day went pretty quickly as there were lots of people to talk to about various things like which calling service to join or who was a real actor and how much replacing a timing belt would cost. I was also able to see the beautiful Moon Bloodgood.

Interestingly, people kept asking me where I got my fold-up stool. Of course, my mind began to churn and I thought about how lucrative it would be to start selling these little babies. I think I'll buy a few of them and hock them from the trunk of my car. Then, if it gets really popular, I may need to start manufacturing my own version of these things. They're not the most comfortable seats and could use a little improvement.

As it got dark, we were wrapped right in the middle of rush hour. My solution is always to head to the nearest casino. I gotta admit, I was frightened a little. My live poker game hasn't been very good lately and I was worried about losing my bankroll. But I figured I would suck it up and just go for it. It's only money.

My friend JD told me about the nearest Wamu which was on Rosecrans, just one exit away from Redondo Beach where Hustler is. As I drove down to look for the bank, I noticed Normandie Casino was right next to it. I figured I'd play there instead since it was closer and since I haven't had much luck at Hustler lately.

The 3-6 table was full, so I decided to check out the no-limit games. There was one that was a $40-$80 buy-in and that was good enough for me since I wanted to limit myself to $80.

I played tight and it seemed like everyone else was playing the same way. I came out ahead winning but only $9.00. I felt okay about that since I was just trying to pass the time away so I wouldn't have to face rush hour traffic.

BONES

MONK

SHARK #2

James Woods is the fuckin' man. Sure, he's old, has a huge gut and according to a fellow background artist, "looks like a pervert," it doesn't matter. He does things his way and he isn't ashamed to admit it.

We were sent to the Los Angeles Superior Court building in downtown LA this time around. As I was hanging out during the scene, a young lady started to tell me and another guy what a pervert James Woods is. "A pervert? What do you mean?" I asked, wondering if I could be a pervert myself.

"Well, first of all, he just looks like a pervert to me. He's old, scraggly, and he looks, well, he just looks like a pervert," she says. Being the devil's advocate, I needed to explore this further, so I asked her to continue. "My friend worked Shark once, and she told me that James Woods told her he just got a new camera so could he take some pictures of her to test it out. That's so perverted!" she exclaimed.

Wow. I gotta remember that I thought to myself. Does that actually work, or do you need to be a famous actor making millions of dollars? I didn't care, I will use it someday. "To top it all off, he has a 19 year old girlfriend!"

"No fuckin' way," I said, though I considered the possibility. Hell, if you're the fuckin' man, why not? Who's gonna tell you it's not right? "Well, maybe she's mature for her age. Besides, no one gives Hugh Hefner shit about his girlfriends." I knew this wasn't true, but I wanted to believe it.

I've always worried about how people perceive me. I suppose that fault is in us all, but I notice that some people care less than others. I've always admired how people can just say "fuck you" and go about their business. I'd always be afraid someone would think I'm a schmuck. But when you think about it, other people's opinions really won't do you much damage in Hollywood (unless you're a politician).

As we stared at James Woods, he began noticing a fine young blond with a rack you could stare at for some time. Shit, maybe James Woods is a pervert? But then again, maybe it is I? Because I was doing the same thing he was.

We were then moved to Cicada for another scene. There, I noticed another young blond who seemed younger than most of the other background actors. I suspected she was James Woods girlfriend because a) she looked 19 and b) she had that air of someone you shouldn't fuck with because she knew someone important.

Nevertheless, she was very nice and began talking to a gentleman seated at the table next to hers. She was marveling at how delicious her pasta salad was and the gentleman thought this could be a chance for him to turn his seat around and engage her in further conversation.

James Woods must have the best girlfriend defense radar, because as soon as the gentleman did this, I heard James Woods calling out for his girl. "Ashley? Ashley?! Where are you baby?"

"I'm right over here darling. I'm just eating this wonderful salad I got a few blocks down," she answered. At that point, I did not look at Ashley or James Woods, but at the gentleman who became suddenly uncomfortable in the chair that seemed a little too small for him. Even though I didn't look at James Woods, I could see that his eyes were planted on the gentleman and I wondered if James Woods ever had a background player kicked off the set for talking to his girlfriend.

During another scene at a restaurant table with Janelle (a young woman I met on Carpoolers and who mentioned I needed to check out Portos for the best cakes), I was seated opposite another beautiful young lady who could not help but describe what she saw this afternoon. Apparently, the busty young blond who James Woods and I had our eyes fixed on, was seen entering James Woods' trailer and shutting the door behind her. She then turned to look at one of the ADs who saw the action, but all he could do was look to the side, frown and shrug his shoulders.

Looking back, I wish I would have told James that I had a new camera that I wanted to show him. There were pictures I was testing out on the young, busty blond entering his trailer and closing the door right behind her.

"James," I would say, "do you think Ashley might be interested in seeing how crisp these images are?"

CARPOOLERS #2

This time around was a little funner since we got to walk around a lobby a little more and actually watch some of the actors improvise their scenes. We shot two episodes today and I was one of the last to leave.

I saw that cutie from Viva Laughlin, but never got to really start a conversation. She seemed way too young to hold a decent conversation. Then again, who needs to converse in a bedroom?

That reminds me of a commercial I just watched for Trojan condoms. There's a bar full of swine (literally) and one of them goes into the bathroom. It purchases a Trojan condom and magically turns into a good looking guy.

THE L WORD

I think I may have watched the very first episode of the L Word, but I'm not sure. For some reason, I have some memories of watching a show with lesbians in it. Or was that just some preview?

I was booked as an art museum goer and the info line instructed us to bring several changes. That is when I realized I don't have a lot of funky taste in me. I need to go shopping.

Nevertheless, I brought a few changes and the wardrobe girl seemed appreciative of my choices. She put me in all black with a brown derby hat. She also liked the black fingernails. It seemed like they got a lot of reactions from the ladies. I considered keeping them for some time.

We shot at the Hammer museum in Westwood, very close to the UCLA campus. The rumor today (which actually held true) was that we would be shooting until 1am. On set, I saw all the principles, but the ones that caught my eye were Pam Grier, Cybil Shepherd (for their fame), Mia Kershner and Jennifer Beals (for their beauty).

After a scene inside the museum, we moved outside where we were supposed to react to a multi-media display. While waiting for the crew to set-up, John (an old-school black guy who may have been a hustler in his early days) was amazed to see how naive a young white girl from Sacramento could be. She was pretty, but in a small-town, white trash kind of way.